Peace Comes From Perspective

Okay, I know I said I'd be featuring some of my favorite websites in my next post. This post has been rattling around in my mind for some time, so I thought it best that I share it with you all first.

Many times, people will suggest that when you are stressed, just think about how all of these little things won't make a difference a year from now. And that's true, a lot of the time. For me, however, knowing that the small stuff is indeed small doesn't always translate into immediate peace. Sometimes it takes awhile for the epiphany to kick in, and for the relief to finally arrive.

Here's a real-life example. I met the man of my dreams while in high school. Being a teenager, just learning about relationships and everything that goes with them, I often worried and criticized about the littlest things. I often wondered what others thought about him, and listened to well meaning bystanders who thought I should just leave him, because he didn't meet their standards. As I am a cautiously optimistic person, I weighed these points carefully for some time. Eventually, the overwhelming stress from all sides finally caused me to cave, and I did end the relationship.

Fast forward a few short months. On the rebound, I quickly got married to a person I barely knew. (Bad mistake, yes I know.) The relationship quickly turned sour, and was far worse than anything I could have imagined. I won't go into details here, for his privacy, but I had far greater things to worry about, and they were much more valid worries as well.

I stuck through that relationship well past its natural conclusion, but when I did decide to go, I returned to my high school sweetheart. He is my one true love, and all the little things that were "deal breakers" to a teenage mind, were absolute nothings to a more experienced adult. From going through the fire of an unhealthy relationship, I learned so much about what makes a good relationship. Most importantly, I finally gained the perspective I needed to be a good partner in a relationship. I had nothing to worry about anymore; there was nothing that my beloved could do to stress me out.

From the perspective I gained in my previous relationship, I found peace within myself to maintain my current one. Thanks to this experience, I can take that knowledge that the "small stuff doesn't matter," and realize that although it may take a long time for it not to matter, eventually it will happen, and I'll be all the better for it. I firmly believe this is one of the "School of Hard Knocks" lessons, that you'll only be able to truly understand by living it. Sometimes, we cannot control or eliminate our stress; we can only press through it, and learn from it.

Does anyone have a similar experience they'd like to share, where the peace was not immediate, but rather came years later? I'd love to hear from you!